54 Weeks
Ok, so now that Keoni is over a year old, I am going to quit these weekly blogs and just write when something interesting happens or I just want to think out loud... I can't believe I've maintained this weekly blog through all the sleepness nights, long work hours and all the other things that just pop up on a daily basis!
So I've been trying a new sleep method as of last week. I have always held Oni to sleep and then put him in his crib. I am now putting him in his crib still awake. I want him to learn how to fall asleep on his own! I know it's going to be tough initially, but hopefully rewarding in the end! Each day is different. Last night he was particularly fussy and he screamed and yelled when I left the room. He eventually did fall asleep and STTN. It hasn't been as bad as I thought it'd be. And we've completely stopped swaddling Oni now. I know it sounds insane that we were swaddling him until he was one! He still loves his A&A blankies, so I still wrap it around him for comfort and he grabs onto it for dear life...
Putting Oni to bed is the happiest part of my day. Some parents dread bedtime, but I look forward to it. After a long grueling day at work, I come home and I may only have 15 minutes with him until he starts getting teary, cranky and clingy. I know the classic signs of him indicating that it's "sleepy sleepy time" as I put it. He crawls over to me and climbs on top of me and rubs his face into my chest and belly, smearing all his drool and snot over my shirt... And I love it. I don't think it's disgusting or unsanitary... I just look at him, smile and laugh. Then I grab his blankie and bottle and we head upstairs to his room... He knows the routine and stops whining as I walk up the stairs. Once in his room I get settled on the bed in there so I'm comfy enough to hold him while he drinks his bottle. He snatches the bottle out of my hand and begins guzzling it as his eyes immediately begin to flutter... About halfway through the bottle his eyes close and then I give him a kiss on his forehead. I wait for him to finish the bottle as I run my fingers through his hair and then put him in his crib. He opens his eyes instantly to make sure I am still there. I pat his back and shush him for about five minutes. If he is not asleep by then I leave the room. Once he knows I've left, he usually cries and screams for a while. The duration has lessened, which is a relief. It truly is hard to hear your baby scream for you. However I believe as the night progress, he is getting much better at putting himself to sleep. In the middle of the night he wakes up and cries, but falls back asleep on his own without me having to go pick him up. I just lie there and listen and then go back to bed once I hear him stop crying. Some nights I do feel the urge to grab him and just put him next to me for my own selfish reasons, but I know that's not fair to him. Only allowing him to sleep with him when I want him to... So he has yet to sleep in our bed through the night to this day. How I've managed this I don't know, but I have. I guess having Fred tell me no has contributed.
Then in the mornings Fred brings Oni over to my side of the bed and I awake to my baby standing there, smiling at me... It is the greatest feeling in the world. No matter how tired I am, I get up and just want to hold him and never let go. I miss him all day long when I am at work and wonder if I'm doing the right thing working full-time and sacrificing all of the moments that I'll never get back with him... I am not particularly happy at my job currently, so it's a constant struggle to decide on what I really want. I proposed a new schedule to my boss this week so we'll see what happens. I work so much from home already, so it'd be nice if I could actually have those hours count! I would love to come home from work at a decent hour and spend time with Oni before he goes to bed. I want to be there to help him take a bath, eat his dinner and chase Garu around the living room... I truly feel like a weekend mom... Nevermind the fact that I have completely stopped being a wife for the most part. I've only been able to maintain my mom title and my work title - that's it. It's sad really. Hopefully if I get to work this new schedule, Fred and I will actually have conversations on weekdays and eat dinner together occasionally. What a thought!!!
I must say that Fred has continued to be my rock. He says the right things, does the right things and I feel that I truly married the right guy for me. He takes care of Oni without me asking, he brings me a drink when he knows I need one and even starts dinner sometimes knowing that I had a long day and will be coming home tired and hungry! The other night I rushed home from a long, stressful day at work only to be greeted to an already sleepy baby. I got to spend no time with him and brought up upstairs to feed him and put him to bed. When I came downstairs, Fred had made me my favorite drink and left it by the sink knowing I'd see it when I put Oni's bottle in the sink. I know I don't say it enough to him, but I truly appreciate him. Ok, I should stop here before this entry turns into a novel!
I do want to add that this past weekend we had a blast! We went to two BBQ's and Oni was pretty good! We did decide that we need to take him out to restaurants more! He has about a 30 minute limit with sitting in the highchair so we need to lengthen that! We're going to try to go out to eat at least once a weekend to work on this...
So I've been trying a new sleep method as of last week. I have always held Oni to sleep and then put him in his crib. I am now putting him in his crib still awake. I want him to learn how to fall asleep on his own! I know it's going to be tough initially, but hopefully rewarding in the end! Each day is different. Last night he was particularly fussy and he screamed and yelled when I left the room. He eventually did fall asleep and STTN. It hasn't been as bad as I thought it'd be. And we've completely stopped swaddling Oni now. I know it sounds insane that we were swaddling him until he was one! He still loves his A&A blankies, so I still wrap it around him for comfort and he grabs onto it for dear life...
Putting Oni to bed is the happiest part of my day. Some parents dread bedtime, but I look forward to it. After a long grueling day at work, I come home and I may only have 15 minutes with him until he starts getting teary, cranky and clingy. I know the classic signs of him indicating that it's "sleepy sleepy time" as I put it. He crawls over to me and climbs on top of me and rubs his face into my chest and belly, smearing all his drool and snot over my shirt... And I love it. I don't think it's disgusting or unsanitary... I just look at him, smile and laugh. Then I grab his blankie and bottle and we head upstairs to his room... He knows the routine and stops whining as I walk up the stairs. Once in his room I get settled on the bed in there so I'm comfy enough to hold him while he drinks his bottle. He snatches the bottle out of my hand and begins guzzling it as his eyes immediately begin to flutter... About halfway through the bottle his eyes close and then I give him a kiss on his forehead. I wait for him to finish the bottle as I run my fingers through his hair and then put him in his crib. He opens his eyes instantly to make sure I am still there. I pat his back and shush him for about five minutes. If he is not asleep by then I leave the room. Once he knows I've left, he usually cries and screams for a while. The duration has lessened, which is a relief. It truly is hard to hear your baby scream for you. However I believe as the night progress, he is getting much better at putting himself to sleep. In the middle of the night he wakes up and cries, but falls back asleep on his own without me having to go pick him up. I just lie there and listen and then go back to bed once I hear him stop crying. Some nights I do feel the urge to grab him and just put him next to me for my own selfish reasons, but I know that's not fair to him. Only allowing him to sleep with him when I want him to... So he has yet to sleep in our bed through the night to this day. How I've managed this I don't know, but I have. I guess having Fred tell me no has contributed.
Then in the mornings Fred brings Oni over to my side of the bed and I awake to my baby standing there, smiling at me... It is the greatest feeling in the world. No matter how tired I am, I get up and just want to hold him and never let go. I miss him all day long when I am at work and wonder if I'm doing the right thing working full-time and sacrificing all of the moments that I'll never get back with him... I am not particularly happy at my job currently, so it's a constant struggle to decide on what I really want. I proposed a new schedule to my boss this week so we'll see what happens. I work so much from home already, so it'd be nice if I could actually have those hours count! I would love to come home from work at a decent hour and spend time with Oni before he goes to bed. I want to be there to help him take a bath, eat his dinner and chase Garu around the living room... I truly feel like a weekend mom... Nevermind the fact that I have completely stopped being a wife for the most part. I've only been able to maintain my mom title and my work title - that's it. It's sad really. Hopefully if I get to work this new schedule, Fred and I will actually have conversations on weekdays and eat dinner together occasionally. What a thought!!!
I must say that Fred has continued to be my rock. He says the right things, does the right things and I feel that I truly married the right guy for me. He takes care of Oni without me asking, he brings me a drink when he knows I need one and even starts dinner sometimes knowing that I had a long day and will be coming home tired and hungry! The other night I rushed home from a long, stressful day at work only to be greeted to an already sleepy baby. I got to spend no time with him and brought up upstairs to feed him and put him to bed. When I came downstairs, Fred had made me my favorite drink and left it by the sink knowing I'd see it when I put Oni's bottle in the sink. I know I don't say it enough to him, but I truly appreciate him. Ok, I should stop here before this entry turns into a novel!
I do want to add that this past weekend we had a blast! We went to two BBQ's and Oni was pretty good! We did decide that we need to take him out to restaurants more! He has about a 30 minute limit with sitting in the highchair so we need to lengthen that! We're going to try to go out to eat at least once a weekend to work on this...
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